[SEL] OT: Etiquette Advice

[Russell Gilbert]

Thanks for that Peter, it's always good to do a re-fresher every now and then.
regards Russell

At 12:11 AM 20/05/2009, you wrote:
> >From another place:
>
>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>IN GENERAL
>1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.
>2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
>3. It's tacky to take an esky to church.
>4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
>5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take
>your ute and trailer to the funeral.
>
>DINING OUT
>1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly
>so as not to bruise the wine.
>2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.
>
>ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
>1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
>taxidermist.
>2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.
>
>PERSONAL HYGIENE
>1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in
>private, using one's OWN ute keys.
>2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
>3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
>4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste
>of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from
>your jewellery.
>
>DATING
>1. Always offer to bait your date's hook ­ especially on the first date.
>2 Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: 'I've been wanting to go
>out with you ever since I read that stuff about you on the dunny door
>two years ago.'
>3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will
>say 11:00 PM, others might say 'Monday.' If the latter is the answer,
>it's your responsibility to get her to school on time.
>
>THEATRE/CINEMA ETIQUETTE
>1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the
>movie ends.
>2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have
>proven they can't hear you.
>
>WEDDINGS
>1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
>2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your
>popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of place)
>3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund
>and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
>4. Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for the occasion.
>
>DRIVING ETIQUETTE
>1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's
>loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight
>2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar
>doesn't always have the right of way.
>3. Never tow another car using pantihose and duct tape.
>4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite
>to ask her to bring back beer too.
>
>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>
>Peter
>--
>Peter A Forbes
>Email: listerdiesel at gmail.com
>http://www.oldengine.org/members/diesel
>http://stationary-engine.co.uk
>http://www.oldengine.co.uk
>
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