[SEL] OT: Happy Birthday, Dave!

[Leroy C.]

Dave, and others... thought you might like this one

>I'm over 45 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down
>terrorists.  You can't be older than 35 to join the military.
> 
>
>They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off
>to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join
>until you're at least 35.
>
> 
>
>For starters: 
> 
>Researchers say 18-year- olds think about sex every 10 seconds. 
>
> 
>
>Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than
>28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. 
> 
>Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a
>dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into
>submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?" 
> 
>An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until
>you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the
>other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a
>jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for
>the old beer belly. 
> 
>An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.
>
> 
>
>Old guys get up early every morning to pee. 
> 
>If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably
>forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a
>real brainteaser. 
> 
>Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys.  We're used to getting
>screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food.  We've also developed
>a deep appreciation for guns and rifles.
>
>  
>
>We like them almost better than naps. 
> 
>They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat
>and I didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor
>did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.  I can hear the
>Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er..one." 
>
>And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone
>outrun a bullet. 
> 
>An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.  He's still learning to
>shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the
>top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out.  He's still
>hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a
>400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. 
>
>All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about life
>before sending them off to possible death. 
> 
>Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our
>hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right now
>is a couple of million old farts with attitudes. 
> 
>Share this with your senior friends.
>
>
>(It's purposely in big type for us)  
>
>Not sure about that part about thinking about sex.
>
>
>


-- 
		C-ya

		  Leroy Clark

"We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give."
            W.A. NANCE


better look here--- http://www.oldengine.org/members/lclark